The author
starts the story at the present viewpoint and goes back to reminisce his life
eighteen years ago. He talks about his memories about Naoko, from the first
time he met her until he falls in love with her. Along with that, he describes
his university life, introducing his bizarre roommate, "Storm
Trooper." The next person he meets is Nagasawa, who became a legend after
swallowing three slugs to end the conflicts. Toru is obviously admiring him,
saying that he slept with a hundred girls and is an amazing conversational
wizard.
The story goes
on like this until page 50, but I have a more important confession to make: I
think I'm in love with Toru Watanabe. While reading the pages, I quickly
noticed that he is such a grown-up with amazing personalities and that he is
very thoughtful, although he doesn't necessarily boasts those features himself.
Also, I was awed by how he deals with people's relationships and the emerging
problems from the relationships. Actually, this book, at least up to page 50,
deals a lot with relationships, especially about love, parting, life, and
death.
The
main theme for this part of the story is about the love between Toru and Naoko.
Actually, at first, I was confused if Toru loved this girl or not. Of course,
he did want to make Naoko happy and said that he was distressed because of
walking with such a beautiful girl, but all he does is describe exactly how she
behaves, and speculates what she is thinking every moment. He never blurts out
those cliché phrases such as 'my heart flutters too much that it could possibly
burst,' or 'she made me crazy.' I couldn't guess how Naoko feels about Toru,
either. However, when he writes, "My stories of Storm Trooper always made
Naoko laugh. Not many things succeeded in doing that, so I talked about him
often, though I was not exactly proud of myself for using him this way," I
was starting to be convinced that he was falling in love with her. And at last,
it became certain that Toru was totally into her when he wrote, "I wanted
to hold her tight when she did these things, but I would hesitate and hold
back. I was afraid I might hurt her if I did that," or "Besides, the
sight of Naoko's smiling face had become my own special source of pleasure."
I wish I had someone who loved me in this way. I also thought this could
actually be the definition of true love.
Another
main thing the writer talks about is parting, or death. In the beginning, Toru
wonders why he could only remember the scenery while he cannot recall all the
other things, including himself and, most importantly, Naoko. He also writes,
"The more the memories of Naoko inside me fade, the more deeply I am able
to understand her. Because Naoko never loved me." I think the author tried
to emphasize that humans are originally lonely beings. I think human beings are
meant to be alone. There is always a farewell in any kind of relationships; whether
it's death or fate, people are born alone and die alone. There is no eternal
friendship and there is no eternal love. Toru's soul was also filled with
similar anguish after his best friend, Kizuki, dies. Before Kizuki's death, he
believed that life and death are remote from each other, but now he realizes
that life and death always travel their paths together. Personally, I don't
have any experience of death of someone near me, so honestly, I don't get what
he's talking about.
While
reading, I also realized that a life can be altered according to how a person
puts meaning to his life. Toru considers everything meaningless; he never puts
any meaning to his friends, his girlfriend, and even the books he learns at
school. "There was nothing I wanted to be," this is what he says. I'm
guessing he likes "Gatsby" because Gatsby has the exactly opposite
personality to his. Gatsby has the only one desire that he can dedicate everything
for. Toru, on the opposite, doesn't even know what he wants.
Lastly,
my most memorable phrase in this part was the following: "If you only read
the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else
is thinking." Nagasawa said this, while rationalizing his liking of the
rarely read books. Reading this part, I remembered how modern men only consider
the bestsellers to be worth reading and buying. Then, I could see why some of
the intellectuals say that nationally standardized textbooks and tests make people
stupid.
