An ode to music

My mom just took my Mp3 player. Her reason is that I listen to songs while I'm studying. 

Yet, people get more attempted to do things they are not allowed to do.

Since I was very young, I especially loved watching movies and singing and listening to songs. I didn't know how to download movies, nor my parents took me to theaters very often, so I had no choice but to choose movies from the ones downloaded by my dad. As for you, music, I had no Mp3 player then and I remember bringing my friend's Mp3 player and my electronic dictionary to an empty classroom, just to record my favorite music into the dictionary. I know it's so embarrassing, but I did, just to get to you.

I guess my dad felt so sorry for me, so he came with an iPod Nano, telling my mom he got it from one of his colleagues to give it to me as my birthday present. Thinking of it right now, after 6 years, I wonder if it really was his colleague who bought it for me? I really doubt that, and I guess my dad was the one who bought it and he was just telling my mom that way to prevent any nagging. 
I wasn't, can't, and will never be able to describe my exact feelings when I grabbed the iPod in my hands. I could literally feel my heart bursting into tears. However, I still wasn't free to listen to your voice then. It was my parents' orders to use the Mp3 only for practicing English. I would have downloaded you by myself, but I didn't know how to, and even if I did, I didn't even have my own computer with my own iTunes.

Thus, I had no choice but to beg my dad to download just four of my favorite of you, the album of Sweetbox. Even though, I was happy then. You were the only origin of my happiness, although my friends thought it was weird to just have 4 of you in a 4-gigabyte Mp3 player. I still remember always having it in my hands wherever I go. I've always wanted to be with you, always, for you made me happy and comfortable whatever my mood is. I was holding it so frequently that my Mp3 player was often mistaken as my cell phone.

By the time I was turning to 6th grade, I had an opportunity to stay in the Philippines for almost a year, and as always, I brought the four you guys with me. I wasn't able to download more of you so I literally listened to your voice for over a thousand times. Later, I came to learned the artist's exact 'ways' of singing and could distinguish points where she vibrates in different levels, where the minute volume changes occur or where she dubbed over her songs, being able to play the songs in my head without actually listening to them through my ears. 

My passion towards music also made me love singing them. However, the only time I could practice singing was when I took shower, because my mom hates music of all kinds. (She said that this music always made her manic, so I asked her if she liked classics then, but she said no.) Because of my mom's hatred towards music, my voice when I sing eventually got smaller and smaller. I still have such small voice when I sing that I had trouble performing on stage at KMLA parties without very nice stage equipment. 

After all those pressure of not being able to sing freely, I finally could practice singing you when I went to the Philippines, for the rooms were usually quite distant from each other. I was crazy about High School Musical that I memorized all lyrics of every one of you in that movie, even though for the majority of the lyrics, I could not understand. At the time, I was really flattered by my roommates' compliments on my singing. It was the first time in my life that I've ever sang a song in front of another person, so I was so glad. Also, I guess that was my first experience to start taking pride of my singing.

While in middle school, I could finally start downloading you. As for me, who has really narrow experience of music, Sweetbox, I couldn't resist the feelings that other songs are utterly unfamiliar. However, that only lasted about a few days. I was beginning to broaden  the range of my favorite artists and became aware that thousands of great songs exist for me.

Slowly, listening to great hit songs and famous songs in the world, my ability to judge music has been heightening exponentially. As I listened to more and more songs, I learned that there are hundreds of genres in music other than ballad, which I'm literally in love with. 
Then, after some time later, I started recording my voice into my computer. At first, all I did was download a karaoke and record my voice while playing them. I also downloaded music scores although they were unreasonably expensive and tried revising my skills. As time went by, my skills on revising recordings were improving, and later I came to learn that recording my voice with earphone plugged in would make my voice sound much clearer. Learning these little details, later I downloaded simple music editing programs and worked on it for a bit.

Afterwards, I downloaded programs that professional songwriters use and learned how to work on it. I recorded, dubbed, harmonized my melody and put effects on my own voice. This whole procedure might be seen as a really bothering job, but it's really fun directly recording my voice, editing, cutting away and pasting in places, doing whatever I want on my own voice! I just do this for my own pleasure so I do not want to show the results to anybody or upload them anywhere.


As you can see, I love you so much that it feels really empty when I don't have my Mp3 in my hands, as if it became a part of my body. I'm not just saying this, it literally feels like there's an empty space that was initially filled. So when I don't have it, I cannot concentrate on my studies or anything. People usually say listening to music while studying is really a bad habit because it will distract you, but I'm the opposite. When I'm listening to it, I can feel myself concentrating 100%. I don't know why, I'm born this way.

Now I'm a huge fan of 2AM and IU. I personally think the real singers among Korean Idols are these people. They can assimilate any genres of music perfectly, so I regard them as best Idol singers in Korea. 
I'm also a big fan of Glee music. It must of necessity be so, since these great singers sing with the greatest hits of the history of music.

Now, I can't stand a day without listening to your voice. You have to hover in my ears if I don't. You are my life.